Fortnightly Expressions



Expression, August, 2010, originally uploaded by Maggie Osterberg.

Every two weeks, Domino, our Miniature Schnauzer, goes to the vet, where she (the vet, that is), somewhat indelicately, expresses his anal glands. That means a finger up the wazoo for the little guy and a hard squeeze on his hindquarters. All four feet usually leave the table and his tongue wildly spasms in and out of his mouth while his eyes search the room for a reason that this is happening to him.

Apparently, thanks to the inbreeding that was needed to make him a black and white spotted Schnauzer, it also screwed up his muscles, especially the ones that are supposed to squeeze the glands that are on either side of his rectum. See, when a dog shits, he also squirts out a bit of oily musk onto the scat, which is some sort of doggie calling card. That way, Ollie knows that it was Domino who done did that dogdunnit in his yard and can, hell, I don’t know, compose a suitable musky reply of his own.

But, in Domino’s case, his hind-end AT&T can only manage one or two butt bars of service, so the stuff just pools up in him, which gets uncomfortable and causes him to do this sit-n-spin doggie dance or the classic scoot-butt across the rug or grass. It also turns out that if the stuff festers in there for two long, it can get infected and then you’ve really got A-Level Nasty going on.

So, we now have the Fortnightly Expression. Behold! The squeezing!

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